Finding romantic partners is like good marketing: you have to polarize people to find the right people for you. Focusing on impressing everyone gets in the way of authentically connecting with anyone.
You want to be real about who you are, so the right people will be drawn to you.
If you try to get everyone to like you, no one really will.
Yeah, that means more people will dismiss or reject you. But you don’t want to waste your time on the wrong people. You want to build relationships with people who naturally gravitate towards you in all your beautiful complexity.
In “Models,” Mark Manson’s book about conscious dating, he talks about the importance of polarizing romantic prospects right away to find people who are into the *real* you. He explains that getting rejected by a date as soon as possible is a good thing, because then you won’t invest too much time and energy into an incompatible partner.
Polarizing people means being open about who you are and what you believe right away.
(It DOESN’T mean disrespecting or dismissing those who don’t think like you.)
This attracts others who resonate with your beliefs and values. Those people are your community. They are your potential friends, lovers and partners.
The people who don’t resonate fall away. And that’s for the best. 👋🏼 Was there a time you chose being your authentic self over getting people to like you, and how did that turn out for you?