Has a sweetie ever asked you in bed, “What do you want/need right now?” or "How are you feeling right now?" ...and you honestly didn’t know? Yeah. Me too. Feelings are hard.
Sometimes I don’t know how I feel about something until WAAAAAY after the fact.
I have seen this is just as true for men as it is for women. Our authentic feelings are often obscured by our desire to please others—especially our lovers. And sometimes our feelings are just so damn inconvenient to feel that we subconsciously stuff them down. But here is the key to understanding how you’re feeling in any given moment...the cornerstone of #emotionalintelligence... 🌟Feelings start as sensations in your body.🌟 I can’t even tell you how much this simple phrase has helped my clients and changed my own life for the better. Try it.
What physical sensations are happening for you right now?
Do you notice heaviness, warmth, numbness, tingling or tightness anywhere? Be curious about whether or not these sensations are linked to an emotion.
Maybe there is a heavy feeling in your gut because you’re sad or worried about something.
Maybe there are butterflies in your stomach because you are nervous or excited.
Maybe your breathing is rapid and your face feels hot because you’re angry about something.
Maybe your throat feels constricted or your chest feels tight because there is something you need to say that you haven’t said.
Or maybe your eyelids feel heavy, so you should get off your device and head to bed.
Start paying attention to your body and start discovering your authentic needs, hopes, desires and boundaries.
This will dramatically improve your sex life because you'll actually be able to tune into what you want!
Your relationships will become more authentic, too. Because understanding and sharing our feelings leads to real intimacy. 💛