Intimacy is not just a euphemism for sex.
Intimacy means "into me see." It’s the courage to show your true self to someone, even when you fear they might judge or reject you. It’s emotional vulnerability that invites loved ones to feel closer to you.
It can be scary to think about talking to a partner about our needs and desires—especially the needs and desires we aren’t “supposed” to want in relationships. Maybe we don’t want our partner to think they aren’t “right” or “good enough” for us. Maybe we are so afraid of not getting our needs met that we simply don’t acknowledge they exist.
But the goal of sharing your authentic desires with your partner is to get closer to them. The goal of being vulnerable with them (and inviting them to be vulnerable with you) is to witness each other in your entirety and love each other more for it.
If you’re ready to explore what your needs and desires are beyond the conventional relationship rules, download my new DIY (design-it-yourself) relationship guide. This is a multi-page checklist for envisioning what your life would look like if your relationships reflected YOU, not social norms.
If you’re partnered, you and your sweetie can fill this out separately and then come together to share your answers.
I know that an exploration of your authentic wants when it comes to love and sex might feel like a Pandora’s box. You might think, “I don’t want to rock the boat.” But remember that the goal of sharing your truths with your partner is not to cause a fight nor to force each other to change. The goal is to get closer and deepen your intimacy by sharing your truths with one another.
Intimacy with others begins with understanding (and then sharing) your intimate self. Are you ready for deeper intimacy? Click the link in my bio and start exploring your truths.