Free Coaching for Unconventional Desires

Are you and your partner struggling with ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, kink or BDSM and want free coaching in exchange for the session being recorded and published to help others? Apply for the Unconventional Desires Project.



Overcome different desires and design a more authentic intimate relationship through personalized virtual coaching with Janel Vitale.


Create the relationship & sex life you really want. 

2020 was a difficult year for intimate relationships. You're not alone if you and your partner are struggling with stress, disconnection, shame, blame, guilt and/or mismatched desires right now.

That's why I'm focusing my private coaching on helping couples in 2021.

Are you and your partner experiencing any of the following?

  • Emotional or sexual disconnection.
  • One of you has a desire that the other person has hesitations or limitations around: frequency of sex, kink, an open relationship, etc.
  • Communication and trust issues.

It is possible to overcome these problems and even transform them into deeper connection and more fulfilling sex than you may have thought possible. 

Through concrete tools and exercises, I'll help you create a thriving intimate life that works for both of you. 

Discover the power of Relationship Design.

Through Relationship Design, I help individuals and partners overcome fear, jealousy and insecurity to create a thriving love & sex life that inspires growth, exploration and deep intimacy. Relationship Design is the concept that partners can structure their relationship around their authentic needs and desires—not just around social norms that might not fit them exactly—to create deeper satisfaction and closeness.

You and your partner are more likely to happily stay together when you go through the intimacy-building process of exploring what each of you really wants in your intimate life and creating win-win relationship agreements together. Relationship Design empowers you to find the right balance of autonomy/freedom and attachment/relationship security in your relationship.

Authenticity is real relationship security. Because we are more likely to stay in relationships that evolve with us and empower us to be our true selves.

"Working with Janel is life-changing. Our sessions were deeply moving. We had conversations about things we'd never shared before. Every couple should have this experience." 

-Charles & Lauren


My Areas of Expertise

Communication for connected conflict

Talking about our needs, desires and boundaries are hard because no one ever taught us how to do it and we're afraid to lose our attachment people by speaking up for ourselves. But sharing our needs and desires and working through conflict together helps us feel closer to the people we love. Learn (and practice) the communication skills, emotional vulnerability, self-awareness and emotional intelligence needed to maintain healthy relationships and prevent resentment and dishonesty.

Shame-free unconventional relationships

I love helping people on their journeys with ethical non-monogamy, open-relationships, kink and BDSM. I am also an ally for the LGTBQIA+ community. As someone who identifies as non-monogamous, I am passionate about supporting people with "unconventional" desires to live their best lives. However, I never "push" non-monogamy, and I frequently work with partners who have different levels of comfort with it to empower them find what works for them as a couple.

Design-your-own relationship

You and your partner are unique individuals, so why try to fit into outdated social norms about how relationships are "supposed to" be? You get to design an intimate life that works for YOU, without shame and without overstepping your or your partner's boundaries. Discover and share what you authentically want in love & sex; support your partner to be truly themselves; and practice talking about your fears, needs and desires. 

Overcoming infidelity

I help partners rebuild trust after cheating and boundary violations. The person who cheated can change, and partners can heal and even become closer after infidelity. Personally, I've been on both sides of this story. I have the nonjudgmental compassion and skill to help you get to the root of why this happened and to heal from it.

Free Coaching for Unconventional Desires

Are you and your partner struggling with ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, kink or BDSM and want free coaching in exchange for the session being recorded and published to help others? Apply for the Unconventional Desires Project.


Mismatched libidos & desires

If you and your partner want very different things in the bedroom or one person wants more sex than the other person does, I can help you navigate this painful issue. You and your partner can create win-win agreements for compromise to feel more intimately connected without overstepping either of your boundaries.


"Janel saved our relationship. Role-playing communication gave us new confidence in talking about our desires and boundaries. Working with her is one of the best decisions we've ever made."

-Renée & Steve




My approach is interactive and holistic.

My approach to sex & relationship coaching is based on the proven concept that experiential learning can more quickly and deeply impact personal growth in the intimate realm than traditional talk therapy or cognitive learning. 

Through guided somatic (body-based) exercises such as meditation, visualization, breathwork, touch exercises and communication exercises/role playing, I will empower you to overcome conflicts in your relationships, tap into desire, celebrate your sexuality, learn to identify and ask for what you want in your love and sex life, gain confidence in intimacy and feel more connected to your loved ones.

I was trained and certified as a coach by the Somatica Institute of sex & relationship coaching and I hold a bachelor's degree in Communication from the University of Southern California.

Coaching gets you the results you want in way less time.

Therapy has its time and place, but most therapists are not trained to understand desire (especially not unconventional desires) nor how to help couples navigate desire differences in a shame-free, nonjudgmental and empowering way.

As a certified sex & relationship coach, I can quickly get couples to where they want to be in their intimate life. Don't spend years and tens of thousands of dollars getting nowhere—or, even worse, getting shamed—in conventional couples therapy. I am an unbiased, nonjudgmental guide for couples on their journey towards more authentic, fulfilling love & sex.

Let's do this.

Now is your time to overcome shame and conflict about your desires to create a more authentic, connected relationship and fulfilling sex life. Submit an application and let's explore working together!


"Our relationship has gotten closer, sexier, more intimate and more trusting. We couldn't have done it without Janel."

-Aiko & Marina

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