Janel Vitale is a certified sex & relationship coach who empowers people to design their intimate lives around their authentic needs, desires and boundaries.
Meet Your Coach
Hi! I'm Janel, a content creator and coach for shame-free relationships and sexual empowerment. My purpose in life is to give people the tools to understand their desires and feel more free to be themselves in their intimate lives. I'm a total geek for emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and vulnerable communication skills.
After 14 years in Catholic school, I struggled to embrace my sexuality and unconventional relationship orientation. My journey to becoming my most authentic self in love & sex inspired me to become a coach. Now, my passion is empowering you to overcome shame and fear to create the intimate life you really want.
I hold a BA in Communication from the University of Southern California and a certification in sex & relationship coaching from the Somatica Institute. Though based in the San Francisco Bay Area, my content has an international reach through my TikTok, Instagram and YouTube channels.
What I Believe
I have seen that when partners design their relationships around their actual needs and desires—not outdated social norms that aren't serving them—they discover deeper satisfaction and emotional intimacy.
I believe that authenticity is real relationship security. Because we are more likely to stay in relationships that evolve with us and empower us to be our true selves.
My mission is to help individuals and partners overcome fear, jealousy and insecurity and create a thriving love & sex life that inspires growth, exploration and intimacy. I have seen that with emotional intelligence and vulnerable communication, you can have security and freedom in your relationships.
How I Got Here
I've always been into creating a life that authentically fits.
My life has been a wild adventure of self-discovery:
I traveled the world as a cruise ship singer.
I lived at several intentional communities and tried my hand at organic farming.
I experimented with polyamory (cultivating serious relationships with more than one partner).
I hiked 5,000 miles on long distance trails and raised $10,000 for girl empowerment nonprofits.
I attended multiple life-changing sex & relationship coaching trainings.
Over the course of this winding journey, I learned how to face my fears and trust my intuition.
I discovered what I really want in love and sex.
And I gained the skills and confidence to communicate about my needs and desires without shame.
My journey inspired me to become a coach to help others who are craving more authenticity in their intimate lives.
Let me be your guide in creating your own road map towards more fulfilling sex and relationships!
My Love Story
It all started at Burning Man in 2017 (I know...so cliche). In the years we've been together, Patrick and I have designed our ideal partnership: we are deeply in love and we connect with other people. Yep—we're in a thriving open relationship.
When we experience jealousy and other uncomfortable emotions, our goal is to gently excavate the feelings by asking ourselves, "What is this discomfort trying to teach us about our fears, needs and boundaries?" This practice empowers us to transform conflict into deeper understanding and intimacy.
Patrick is the most emotionally intelligent man I've ever met and teaches me about self-awareness, healthy boundaries and connected communication every day. Many of the tools and reflections I offer to my clients come from my relationship with him. My gratitude for being in such a solid relationship drives me to help others manifest their own healthy, authentic relationships.
My Coaching Style
I was trained and certified in the Somatica Method of sex & relationship coaching, which is based on the proven concept that experiential learning can more quickly and deeply impact growth in the intimate realm than traditional talk therapy or cognitive learning.
Through guided exercises like meditations, visualizations, breathwork, touch exercises and role plays, I will empower you to overcome conflicts in your relationships, tap into desire, gain confidence, celebrate your sexuality, and communicate about you want in your love and sex life.
Areas of Expertise
Communication for connected conflict
Talking about our needs, desires and boundaries are hard because no one ever taught us how to do it and we're afraid to lose our attachment people by speaking up for ourselves. But sharing our needs and desires and working through conflict together helps us feel closer to the people we love. Learn (and practice) the communication skills, emotional vulnerability, self-awareness and emotional intelligence needed to maintain healthy relationships and prevent resentment and dishonesty.
Shame-free unconventional relationships & sexuality
I love helping people on their journeys with ethical non-monogamy, open-relationships, kink and BDSM. I am also an ally for the LGTBQIA+ community. As someone who identifies as non-monogamous, I am passionate about supporting people with "unconventional" desires to live their best lives. However, I never "push" non-monogamy, and I frequently work with partners who have different levels of comfort with it to empower them find what works for them as a couple.
You and your partner are unique individuals, so why try to fit into outdated social norms about how relationships are "supposed to" be? You get to design an intimate life that works for YOU, without shame and without overstepping your or your partner's boundaries. Discover and share what you authentically want in love & sex; support your partner to be truly themselves; and practice talking about your fears, needs and desires.
Breaking sexual and relationship agreements leads to a painful disruption of trust. However, the person who cheated can change, and partners can heal and become closer after infidelity. Personally, I've been on both sides of this story and have the nonjudgmental compassion and skill to help you. I am honored to work with partners on rebuilding trust after a boundary violation.
Mismatched libidos & desires
If you and your partner want very different things in the bedroom or one person wants more sex than the other person does, I can help you navigate this painful issue. You and your partner can create win-win agreements for compromise to feel more intimately connected without overstepping either of your boundaries.
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